Drocell Cains's User Guide
by xXHanamizukiXx
Summary: OMFG I LOVE DROCELL! Hugs and kisses to change-of-hearts, for being a Drocell fan! Wanted to own your private puppeteer? Read this guide to prevent him from changing you into a puppet!


Currently working on: Pride (from Fullmetal Alchemist), Meirin, Druitt (oh dear, gonna have a loooot of fun with that), Ronald Knox, and Finnian. Love to change-of-hearts since she is a fellow Drocell fangirl.

To tell you all the truth, my friend Anita (bless her, my dear number 1 reader) and I are delusional.

Simply because we go around on Facebook, and write conversations like this:

...

we are crazy. DROCELL IS MINE. MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!  
O_O  
Drocell: (sweatdrops) I reason that my master...cares for me a lot?  
Mizuki: Don't tell me you just realized that, you stupid puppet. (kisses him on forehead)  
Ciel: I think we should leave. Let's go Sebastian.  
Anita: Of course. Let's go

September 11, 2010 at 5:32pm · Like Unlike

...

Yes, my dear readers, when the two of us have a conversation, we make up Drocell and Ciel's parts.

Owner's Guide and Manual: Drocell Cainz

I am an absolute Drocell fan. Actually, I've always had this thing for guys that have this...whimsical, circus or gambler like theme (example: Tyki Mikk from -man) Joker from the Kuroshtsuji manga is no exception.

Your amazing puppet with a damn good voice comes with:

1) Black top hat with a red ribbon and black feathers

2) Blue suit with red ribbons and gilt decorations

3) Finger puppet set (Crafted by Phantom Company, please email us for replacement orders!)

4) Puppet making kit

5) Music box that plays "London Bridge is Falling Down."

To get your puppet out of his box:

1) Start singing London Bridge is Falling Down. Inside the box, he will activate and start singing with you, at which point you should open the box.

2) Get a Grell unit. For some reason, the Grell unit is frequently utilized in activation processes and therefore is quite handy to have around. There is the downside that your Grell unit will flirt with your now very confused Drocell unit, but your Sebastian unit can easily handle that situation.

We aren't responsible if you get turned into a puppet. Although judging from the Undertaker reviews, I don't think the fangirls would care if they got turned into a puppet.

Modes that this sweet, darling model comes in:

Normal: Drocell may seem emotionless, but he's actually a huge softie! He'll sing to you if you wish (just don't teach him the song Gay Bar) and is actually almost as competent as the demon butlers in terms of cleaning your house!

Puppeteer: What's more adorable than seeing Ciel in a kitty suit? Having Drocell peek out at you from miniature puppet curtains and loudly whisper that "he's not here".

Girly: Drocell acts like Grell. He will call himself Drina Canes and prance around your house in some very revealing outfits. In addition, if you want to see something that would blow your minds away, I suggest you throw Grell, William in girly mode, Drocell in girly mode, Claude in bloodthirsty yaoi mode, Sebastian in Demonic Butler mode, and Ciel in Bitchy Yaoi mode into a room along with a very durable camera.

Dominatrix...Dominator?: Uh yeah, this was suggested by a fangirl who wishes to remain anonymous...but this mode is basically Drocell. In leather. With a whip.

Ballerina: Oh goodie, now William has a dance partner!

Jobs:

Puppeteer: He's sooo good he'd make tons of money. Good way to pay for college tuition. This is one of the major reasons why I have a Drocell Cains unit. :D

Singer: Simon Cowell, shut your damn mouth. I don't want to hear another shit-covered word from you. Drocell's voice alone can kick your ass back to the godforsaken planet you come from.

Ballerina: If someone could actually draw him and William performing "Swan Lake" or the "Nutcracker" together, my life would be complete.

Food:

He's a puppet. Puppets don't eat.

Cleaning:

Ah well, you might want to be careful cleaning him. He won't mind if you join him, aside from the occasional blush, but he's a puppet. There are some places, like his joints or head, where he can't get wet. You should cover those areas with plastic wrap before cleaning him. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES let Grell near him while bathing...your Drocell unit will die. Yes, die.

Questions and Answers:

Q: Is it possible to marry him?

A: That's actually a sad question...he'll never age, he can't have children with you, and he'll become depressed seeing you age. It's best not to go into such a deep relationship with him.

Q: He's hoarding my stuffed animals.

A: Now why the hell would he do that? Is he evolving into a Pokemon trainer?

Q: My William unit is stuck in girly mode and constantly complimenting him on the size of his pectorals.

A: Disturbing...but "normal" for a William unit stuck in girly mode. Is your Drocell unit in girly mode too? If so, he won't be mentally scarred from the compliment.


End file.
